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abbylauren2013

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Pittsburgh, United States
35 years-old
Sunday 28 April 1991
Single

About Abbylauren2013

Name's Abby. Must taste good since it's always in someone's mouth ;). Words that sum up everything: Trucker Mouth. Boys. DGAF. Iron man. Piercings. Tattoos. Gauges. Photography. Music. Being late. Art. Head banging. Laughing. Goofing off. Loving. Spontaneity. Skateboarding. Singing. Hello Kitty. Dancing. Smiling. Pick-up lines. Pokemon. Zombies. Bracelets. Video games. Makeup. Ice Tea. Monster. Moutain Dew. Sex. Drugs. Rock n’ Roll. Comedy. Horror. Romance. You love me already.

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Abbylauren2013's favorite FMLs

By Chelsea - 27/02/2013 22:39 - United States - Aurora

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 998

You deserved it 2 676

By Experience - 05/02/2013 20:19 - United States - Waynesfield

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 038

You deserved it 3 592

By Noname - 25/02/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box saying, "Love, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 136 054

You deserved it 24 473

Awkward pause

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Blue Springs

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 529

You deserved it 17 930

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 04:43 - United States

Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 213

You deserved it 9 284