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MoncaBang - 29/01/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

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Anonymous - 04/08/2010 10:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

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mr - 27/07/2010 18:44 - United States

Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML

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Thanks but no thanks

nu_ravers_101 - - United States

Today, I went surfing. One of my instructors came up to me and told me that the other, good looking, instructor didn't have a girlfriend. Who then turned around and said, "I do if you are trying to set me up with her." FML

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syl - 11/02/2010 06:18 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

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