•
•
•

usmcprill

0

1

0

5

489

7

Corinth, US of A
34
Tuesday 20 August 1991

Usmcprill

I really wish I could write something philosophical and meaningful on here, but frankly I am not that kind of guy. My name is Brandon. I'm about to graduate high school this upcoming January and than am crossing into that scary threshold of adulthood. Upon graduating I am planning on enlisting in the Marine Corps as a rifleman.

Usmcprill -

AndreaHoff...

Usmcprill -

Usmcprill

lovers5201

talktoloud

AndreaHoff...

KathrinLor...

Gretzkey20

nikkireese

Usmcprill

Usmcprill

Noname - 24/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML

22 546

66 433

Anonymous - 02/04/2009 18:21 - United States

Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML

71 151

3 576

Anonymous - 02/04/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

512

153

Anonymous - 26/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, my mom told me she spent $760 on "quantum pendants" that "produce scalar energy that helps to enhance the body’s biofield." When I told her she got scammed, she denied it and yelled at me. Best part? She frequently lectures me about how I waste my money and spend irresponsibly. FML

67 346

5 153

konens_dick - 22/03/2009 10:38 - United States

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

276 915

37 151