•
•
•

withoutapulse

0

0

2

3

721

9

Fairfield, United States
30
Friday 27 October 1995

Withoutapulse

•I am insane •I am mentally unstable •I jump to conclusions •I worry because I care Nice to meet you; I'm the asshole they all talk about

Withoutapulse -

Withoutapulse -

Withoutapulse

lovers5201

Zachary826...

janderson4...

am1717

Tomato_Che...

CreatingRe...

taranoelr

spork_of_d...

mason4u2

Chelserser

pinkpig23

Awesomeaxe...

Withoutapulse

Withoutapulse

Hikara - 13/04/2009 13:44 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

165 628

24 394

Watchtower? More like fortress. - 19/10/2012 21:39 - Norway - Oslo

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

22 791

2 523

Anonymous - 30/09/2012 01:37 - United States - Duarte

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

32 380

4 891

mikeissad - 11/08/2012 19:37 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

39 327

2 489

Carrie G. - 27/07/2012 00:46 - United States - Holland

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why period blood couldn't be saved and donated to the hospital for transplants. FML

27 712

2 455