Purplerose

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Purplerose's favorite FMLs

By emkatch - 21/07/2009 19:47 - Canada

Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML

agreeclassic 67 865

vote type 1 4 374

By cjw - 06/03/2013 00:07 - United States

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

agreeclassic 46 606

vote type 1 4 325

Terrible prank

By Malakai - 02/02/2011 05:57 - United States

Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

agreeclassic 48 867

vote type 1 8 488

By zzdug - 08/02/2010 03:19 - United States

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

agreeclassic 30 106

vote type 1 5 907

By Laura_2118 - 12/12/2009 07:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML

agreeclassic 25 011

vote type 1 4 337