Intimacy: Hello Zoe

Hello Zoe

By Zoe123 - 19/03/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and started knocking on his door, asking, "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answered, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 292

You deserved it 16 661

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Same thing different taste

Mortified

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 095

You deserved it 8 965

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 574

You deserved it 48 757

By Anonymous - 05/04/2011 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 885

You deserved it 5 305

Weird family

By Veronica - 29/12/2022 09:00 - United States - Allentown

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 2 168

Timing

By kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 015

You deserved it 33 510

By liz1234 - 23/03/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 246

You deserved it 8 144

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 826

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 10:06 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 439

You deserved it 20 761

Nope out of there

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 453

You deserved it 23 294

By Anonymous - 03/08/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 108

You deserved it 42 177

Spiffy 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 16:03

at least you know he's comfortable sharing

ccb_fml 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 16:11

hahaha if i were you... i'd give him a high five for having a good sense of humor. that's hilarious... please don't tell me you continued to dress and left.... people knock on people's doors all the time. no biggie.....

Comments

Zoe_Cat 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 19:38

...That's... My Name o.O hah i bet you were like: FRICK FRICK FRICK

Neenertastic 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 19:48

Today I realized that half the people posting and commenting on this site are half my age. FML Today I went to share this and FML tells me "Too much FML submitted at this time - please try again later." DoubleFML Are we all this effed?

iluvmycatz 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 19:56

thats not that bad

ccb_fml 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 20:01

yes we are #42 because they won't let me post my FML either... and the worst part? i definatley deserved it.... FML!

Paynegwynn 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 20:08

@38, I think 37 was being sarcastic.

Danny_Shakes 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 20:09

To all you religious freaks that continue to come on too these posts and judge others: I thought God was the only Judge? Just for you personal enjoyment I would love to come to your place of worship strip naked and do the chicken dance. This would be followed by a lovely drug-driven orgy with hopefully all the young women in attendance, premartially of course. People can have sex with whoever and whomever they want since we enjoy something called freedom. Please keep your backwards religious views to yourself, while the rest of us take our chances and continue to be extremely happy getting off without a wedding ring. I am going to have sex with my girlfriend now for the second time today and I thank Jesus for giving me the ability to have sex multiple times a day without being married. Kiss my Ass Religious Nuts.