Animals, Cats Health Caturday surprise!

Caturday surprise!

keeperstride - - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Hang in there

ouch - - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

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Caught off guard

dooommage - - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

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Broke boy

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

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Self defence

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

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Close encounters

Pinkie - - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

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Freak out

zAstonish - - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

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Deez nuts

needtoscratch - - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

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Bad boy

Shiva - - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

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Surprising

Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

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Stinky pits

shakinmahbuttbutt - - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

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redbluegreen 40

Friday 4 September 2009 1:08

Greatest FML I've ever read in my life.

Aoife 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:11

Haha, there's a place and time for everything. You can't ALWAYS get the pussy into the shower with you. x]

RammsteinFreak 0

Monday 8 February 2010 23:51

More like FTCL. "Today, my owner stuffed me in a shower with him and turned on the water. He was naked. FML."

CaliGirl311 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 4:02

Dude why were you naked? What's the point? It's all your fault

tianaobama 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 5:33

hahaha. you sooo deserve that one. that is the most idiotic thing i've ever heard of!

keeperstride 0

Monday 12 April 2010 10:42

wow been months and now i see the comments, HA!. 1- yes, idiotic of me, but done it a million times. cat usually is calm as hell 2- naked because i usually shower at the same time 3- yes needle was about 8" deep in my ass; it hit bone!

highsheep 0

Wednesday 14 April 2010 7:57

YDI, cats lick themselves clean dumbass.

Green_Eyes_Pwn 0

Tuesday 20 April 2010 19:25

who the hell does that? Really...

jpickavance 0

Tuesday 4 May 2010 3:37

Yup. that's terrible.

laideehawk 6

Tuesday 4 May 2010 5:28

You did not get an 8" needle in your butt. Maybe a penis, but not a needle. I'm sorry you got screwed!

laideehawk 6

Tuesday 4 May 2010 5:36

P.S. I'm a nurse. There is no 8" needle for antibiotics. They are 1 1/2" - 2" at the most. I'm sorry it hit bone though. You must be skinny. That hurts!