The Top

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By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 13:49 - United States

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 225

You deserved it 44 778

By Anonymous - 07/01/2010 00:29 - Canada

Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 961

You deserved it 3 468

By Natalie - 01/04/2011 18:16 - United States

Today, I was out enjoying my daily jog, when out of nowhere, a group of kids in a passing car pelted me with ketchup-filled water balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 079

You deserved it 4 279

By hellokitty133 - 30/09/2011 01:56 - United States

Today, the boys who sit at my math table decided it would be funny to throw broken pencils at my boobs to see if they were real. They did this the entire class period. I have to work with this group for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 014

You deserved it 3 730

By Anonymous - 06/05/2013 18:13 - Ireland - Kilmacrennan

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 409

You deserved it 6 146

By Anonymous - 27/07/2012 09:25 - United States - Toledo

Today, while working as a manager at a restaurant, the "All employees must wash hands" sign in the bathroom was stolen. Now my employees won't wash their hands because they "don't have to." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 155

You deserved it 2 603

By SpLo0gIeR - 13/02/2012 15:30 - United States

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 764

You deserved it 55 024

SpLo0gIeR tells us more.

SpLo0gIeR 9

Monday 13 February 2012 21:00

Funny thing is he laughed and gave me a warning :)

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 20:38 - United States

Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 276

You deserved it 4 669

The wagon

By mhmm... cumsquats - 09/02/2013 23:26 - Belgium - Kessel-lo

Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 941

You deserved it 61 452

By karmavictim - 18/03/2011 11:28

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 115

You deserved it 10 934

By apav - 11/06/2009 11:52 - Australia

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 919

You deserved it 24 416

No rizz

By blackitalian - 26/11/2010 15:43 - United States

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist, and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 163

You deserved it 31 836

By Username - 04/08/2010 05:18 - France

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 035

You deserved it 3 834

By TheTruthofWomen - 04/11/2013 05:45 - United States

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 250

You deserved it 4 680

By Santa - 12/12/2011 21:45 - Canada

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 080

You deserved it 4 411

By sadface - 03/02/2010 11:58 - France

Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 083

You deserved it 9 176

By 8sq - 11/06/2011 01:32 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 616

You deserved it 16 362

By epiiphany - 16/12/2009 23:01 - United States

Today, my little brother got mad at me, so he colored the entire screen of my new iPod Touch with a black sharpie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 048

You deserved it 5 349

Love is…

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 00:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 479

You deserved it 8 876

By Anonymous - 04/12/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 848

You deserved it 3 257

By blank - 21/07/2010 13:52 - United States

Today, I came home to my boyfriend wearing one of my pads on his hand, because he didn't want to pay to go to the hospital for stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 364

You deserved it 4 124

By Anonymous - 14/03/2012 19:31 - United States

Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 893

You deserved it 33 114

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 05:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend clearly stated that I was "useless" when on my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 528

You deserved it 8 125

By Anonymous - 04/12/2010 23:28 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 507

You deserved it 36 790

By candymansvan17 - 17/08/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 480

You deserved it 3 240

By Great. - 18/05/2012 15:05 - United States - Billings

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 022

You deserved it 5 350

The devil

By nichaneely - 10/02/2010 03:32 - United States

Today, I was working when an older lady came up to buy a coffee. Her son cried for a cup of whipped cream to snack on. She shook her head, silently telling me to say no. I said we were out. The mother took her drink and said, "I'm sorry honey, but the mean man said you couldn't have any." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 990

You deserved it 3 729

By Anonymous - 19/07/2009 12:44 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone, then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it said, "I'm here for the quicky." Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 295

You deserved it 4 989

**** up

By bun593 - 27/02/2010 01:52 - United States

Today, I gave a technical presentation to a group of male colleagues. I was surprised by how attentive they were until I went to the washroom and realized that they could see every detail of my nipples through my new shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 414

You deserved it 16 319

Why not both?

By Alexandra - 20/09/2011 08:25 - Lebanon

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 658

You deserved it 8 999

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The Top

Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 347

You deserved it 47 826

Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 176

You deserved it 121

Today, I was so tired at work that I typed out "wherehouse" instead of "warehouse" in a document shared with my co-workers. It took me several seconds to realize why the heck the spell checker had underlined "wherehouse" in red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 202

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 183

You deserved it 3 205

Today, it's my birthday. It's also the day of my grandmother's funeral. I spent most of my 21st birthday in a cemetery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 141

Today, my 4 year old son excitedly asked me if he'd get to see drones at the zoo. He apparently thinks drones are living creatures. I guess I can go ahead and spend his college savings on shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 687

You deserved it 1 378