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By gotthewrongman - 17/12/2009 17:49 - United States

Today, I found that my Facebook account had been hacked, and all my friends were deleted. As I tried to add them all back, Facebook reported me as a hacker for adding too many people too quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 557

You deserved it 3 729

By Anonymous - 13/07/2013 16:16 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my kids. It was fun, and led to some mock fights. My neighbor, who despises me for being a single mother, used it as an excuse to call the cops on me for "abusing" my kids. They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 232

You deserved it 3 637

Our pride and joy

By trgtyo - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our living room wall with a painted one. Of our German Shepherd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 029

You deserved it 3 729

One stop cop shop

By Triumvirate - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I learned that making an illegal U-turn right after you see a cop doing one will not stop said cop from ticketing you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 795

You deserved it 42 716

Life's a beach

By MICHAELTHEA - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking on the beach when I tripped. I was about to land on a kid's sandcastle, so I tried to dodge by leaning left to avoid it. Before I hit the ground, I noticed the many rocks I was heading for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 170

You deserved it 4 468

By whathehell - 27/04/2013 08:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 163

You deserved it 3 644

Spit take

By gatorhead - 09/09/2010 18:05 - United States

Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 491

You deserved it 2 508

By Anonymous - 24/07/2015 11:58 - Germany - Paderborn

Today, I asked my boyfriend to go to the airport with me, to see me off for my three-month stay abroad. He said no because the two-hour drive is "too boring". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 671

You deserved it 2 571

By Diana - 13/08/2010 01:06 - United States

Today, I was showing my three year-old that going down the deck steps are perfectly safe. At the top, I tripped on my shoe and fell head first down every step. I now have five stitches and a three year old who won't go anywhere near the deck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 612

You deserved it 8 242

Classic excuse

By bfall74 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was stood up by a blind date. After calling and texting her about being a horrible person, she called me from the hospital. She was in a car accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 001

You deserved it 62 303

I'm not kidding

By ouchies - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to call the doctor to go and have them remove a tick that had got stuck to my man-parts while fishing. The receptionist laughed, because she thought I was prank calling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 336

You deserved it 3 702

By rachlette - 17/04/2015 21:47 - United States - Seattle

Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 527

You deserved it 2 806

I'M ALSO HERE

By Steiner - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Troy

Today, my relatives won't acknowledge my existence unless I'm posting a picture of my cat. They only talk about the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 839

You deserved it 3 515

By headache - 23/02/2015 01:41 - United States

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 706

You deserved it 5 256

By Disgruntled - 16/03/2016 12:01 - United States - East Lansing

Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 170

You deserved it 1 301

By msj137 - 17/07/2009 07:25 - United States

Today, I had a softball tournament which also landed on my birthday. My dad had to leave town for work, so he left me a card on my night stand. Instead of a happy birthday, all it said was 'Don't mess up the game for everyone'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 170

You deserved it 2 853

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 06:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 505

You deserved it 6 156

By notsoproudfather - 01/02/2016 15:54 - India - Pune

Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 037

You deserved it 2 319

By ledentist - 12/09/2012 02:24 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, my dentist dropped my bite plate for x-rays on the ground, picked it up, looked at it intently, took a couple of hairs off, and shoved it back into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 494

You deserved it 2 298

Take the L

By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 17:38 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, I now accept how stupid I was to marry a man whose plans for the future all start with, "When I win the lottery…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 576

You deserved it 9 698

Chillaxed

By xXxXxTOBIxX - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Raleigh

Today, while relaxing in a chair in a shop, a man approached me and said, "You have no idea how many times I've farted in that chair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 272

You deserved it 4 694

Booted

By Anonymous - 22/11/2010 07:32 - Australia

Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 364

You deserved it 3 373

By gracewinchester - 10/10/2014 06:57 - United States - Eugene

Today, I tried a soup sample at a supermarket. An employee then came over and started asking me questions about how I got the cup for the sample, telling me it wasn't store policy to just give out sample cups. I was so stressed that I broke down crying in the middle of the supermarket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 562

You deserved it 5 069

gracewinchester tells us more.

gracewinchester 12

Saturday 11 October 2014 0:33

Just to clarify: I wasn't just crying because of the soup. My college apps are due Monday, I was going to have to be at school from 7:30AM - 8:00 the next morning, I have a huge part in a play and expectations are very high, SATs are Saturday, LOTS more. The store's official policy is to have an employee come with the customer and get a soup sample. The soup sample cups look exactly like the salad dressing cups so she probably thought I was trying soup without asking or an employee made a mistake, which is actually what happened. I normally don't ever cry in front of people but for some reason that just set me off. Hope that clears anything up :)

By Jay - 06/05/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 476

You deserved it 3 393

By mymumdidntloveme - 01/07/2014 03:59 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like he loved me. He looked away and replied, "Fair enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 055

You deserved it 5 503

mymumdidntloveme tells us more.

mymumdidntloveme 14

Saturday 16 August 2014 13:34

Hey, OP here. We are still together. Have attended counselling and we are both being much more open and loving with each other. The issue was both his and mine but we are both working on our problems together and I'm proud to say our marriage is better and more fun than ever :)

Ouchies

By pierced. - 25/06/2014 04:29 - United States - Reno

Today, I went to a seamstress to be fitted for my wedding dress and left with a pierced nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 898

You deserved it 6 129

By save me - 30/05/2014 22:33 - Belgium - Antwerpen

Today, things got so bad with my mother-in-law that I seriously considered faking my entire family's deaths to escape it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 681

You deserved it 4 726

By Anais Strongrump III Jr. - 09/05/2014 20:41 - United States - Garland

Today, my parents decided to get with the times. So far, they've made me get Snapchat and Instagram accounts, and made me add them on Facebook. They keep acting like annoying teenagers, and get mad at me when I don't play along. For the love of god, somebody save me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 947

You deserved it 5 509

By innocentbarista - 17/03/2013 19:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, while serving two middle-aged women at the coffee shop, I was screamed at and accused of being a "sexist and chauvinistic bastard." This was prompted by me charging one of them 40 cents for the addition of steamed milk, which is clearly stated on the price sheet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 585

You deserved it 2 587

By catdog552 - 28/02/2013 11:02 - United States

Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 993

You deserved it 2 606

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Today, my girlfriend and I got up, dressed, and dealt with the kids. I had to be somewhere so I poured coffee for her and me and started eating my breakfast. She got offended, refused to drink coffee with me, and has been ignoring me since. She regularly starts eating before I sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 79

Today, my brother was suspended from school. He referred to himself as "Master" and two female classmates as his "bitches" in front of his teacher. He's ten years-old. What kind of family do I live in? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 126

Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped, grabbed the ball for the kid and went to hand it to him. He then yelled, "Stranger danger!" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 829

You deserved it 3 208

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 764

You deserved it 4 492

Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 321

You deserved it 98 487

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 691

You deserved it 8 144