Intimacy Monday morning blues - FML

Monday morning blues

desperate905 - - Netherlands

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

ryanisexy 5

Tuesday 21 February 2012 11:59

I go to bed half an hour later.

Pentium_4 27

Tuesday 21 February 2012 12:01

before bed is much nicer. helps you sleep...

sdeniro 6

Monday 27 February 2012 16:52

Omg! Weirdo lmfao!

Heinousness 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 0:15

You took single to a new level

rileypena1985 2

Tuesday 28 February 2012 6:27

That's really sad...forever alone.

MisfittotheDoor 6

Wednesday 7 March 2012 1:19

That is pitiful.

cheesiestcake 1

Sunday 11 March 2012 2:43

4 ever alone!

Zoyaaa 9

Thursday 24 May 2012 22:32

A great start to a new day :)

ninjachick_15 0

Monday 18 June 2012 22:55

txt me(; 714-489-3165

DelaineyFitz 3

Monday 26 November 2012 22:21

The name says it all..

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he insists I bit his penis during sex, and that I'm a crazy, man-hating psycho. It’s not true, I’ve just not given many blowjobs before, my technique stinks, and my teeth touched his skin a little. FML

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Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

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Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I woke up right as the dentist pulled my last tooth. FML

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Today, I complained to my boyfriend that I was stressed out. He asked me, "What do you have to be stressed out about?" I work 50 hours a week and go to school full time. I ask him what was stressful about his day, he told me that his "kill/death ratio went down on Call of Duty." FML

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Today, we had a fire drill in my dorm, and I live on the 7th floor of my building. They shut the elevators down and I had to walk down 14 flights of steps. I shattered my kneecap last week. They turned the alarm off when I got to the first floor. FML

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Today, my mother woke up again in a bad mood due to the quarantine and went off on how us siblings complain about each other all the time. Truth is, she's the one complaining non stop about whichever sibling is not in the room. FML

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