Nearly FML

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 18:26

Today, my boyfriend thinks it’s funny to run up behind me. It scares the crap out of me and makes me feel super uncomfortable even though I know he is gonna do it and that he won’t hurt me. He thinks it’s funny. Now I’m paranoid. FML

agreeclassic 123

vote type 1 18

By eurynome_liri - 12/05/2019 23:08 - United States - Des Moines

Today is mothers day. I stayed up until 6 am making a beautiful gift only for her to tell me she made plans with a co-worker she hates and has left town because she forgot we had a day planned. FML.

agreeclassic 151

vote type 1 9

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 04:05

Today, my dad decided to contact me after being out of my life for 17 yrs. I also have a half sister. What kind of Jerry Springer family reunion is this? Fml.

agreeclassic 126

vote type 1 8

By Anonymous - 11/05/2019 22:21

Today, I received an invite to a wedding via mail. Thanks dad, you could have at least told me in person that you are getting remarried. FML.

agreeclassic 123

vote type 1 5

By Tamara Lawrence - 11/05/2019 19:53

Today I walked into the female toilet to see a dude peeing with the door open. I’m thinking I’m in the wrong toilet and hurry out. On second glance I notice it was the female toilet. I wait outside, when he came out he seemed to be unaware of his actions despite security telling him otherwise. FML

agreeclassic 90

vote type 1 7

By SyntheticDC - 11/05/2019 06:14

Today, I have duty. No later than twenty minutes after taking over the shift, there have been no less than three drunken brawls, two UAs, and a couple having sex in the bathroom. Guess who gets to do all of that paperwork.

agreeclassic 109

vote type 1 5

By QueenCortana Tiffany Turner - 09/05/2019 21:02

Today my car decided to stop working and now it’s a decision between getting it working or paying rent fml

agreeclassic 148

vote type 1 6

By Anonymous - 09/05/2019 20:17

Today I broke my big toe by stubbing it on the coffee table, then this afternoon I somehow broke my other big toe by stubbing it on the very same coffee table FML

agreeclassic 121

vote type 1 35

By undercovergoober - 09/05/2019 05:57

Today, my dad is making plans to move out after fighting with my mom last night. This time, divorce seems imminent. The emotional tension has reached my 11-year-old brother. He’s hurt and confused but they won’t even attempt to gently talk to him. I don’t know how to protect him from this. FML

agreeclassic 147

vote type 1 8

By ojosRojos - 09/05/2019 03:51

Today, my coworker said, “I was going to wish you a happy Mother’s Day but you’re not a mom.” I’ve been trying to get pregnant for a year and a half. FML

agreeclassic 145

vote type 1 9

By "Adriene Bruce" - 08/05/2019 21:44

Today i got paid and thought i would have a bill free payday. but my husband gambled away our rent money so there goes my hold check. FML.

agreeclassic 102

vote type 1 9

By "Nikki Byron" - 08/05/2019 20:31

Today, I found out that my boyfriend's ex, not only works with him, but has been secretly staying in the upstairs guest bedroom. I also found some photos of her on his tablet. We have been dating for almost 10months and it's my birthday today.. FML

agreeclassic 118

vote type 1 9

By "Termera" - 07/05/2019 23:10

Today after I got my wisdom teeth removed I confessed to my dad that I hate his wife...FML?

agreeclassic 79

vote type 1 14

Get him a latte from Starbucks or something

By Anonymous - 07/05/2019 15:00 - United Kingdom - Oldbury

Today, my brother held me down and told me, based on the books, all of the characters who are most likely to die in the last season of Game of Thrones. All I did was pick up his phone to check the time. FML

agreeclassic 242

vote type 1 36

By Bubbilility - 07/05/2019 18:24 - Australia - Merrylands

Today, a woman showed up at my house asking to use my phone. I decided let her in while I went to get my phone from the charger. It wasn't until several hours later that I noticed my wallet, and a significant sum of my money, missing. She has all my ID, my bank card, my expensive wallet/key chains, and my house keys. FML.

agreeclassic 78

vote type 1 207

By SavedSnapGirl - 07/05/2019 06:15

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has a side instagram account in which he posts many inappropriate pictures. Not just that, those are the same pictures he snapchats to me. He must’ve saved them. FML.

agreeclassic 113

vote type 1 7

By The Non-Virgin - 07/05/2019 06:11

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to lose our virginity to each other. He couldn’t stay hard and I couldn’t stay wet. We stopped trying after 5 minutes. He didn’t even cum. FML.

agreeclassic 117

vote type 1 22

By what the actual fuck?! - 05/05/2019 20:58

Today I visit the home of my ex and his new gf. My kids will have overnight visits I wanted to see it for myself. There were beer cans cigarette butts and fast food wrappers covering the floors. The walls were brown the furniture was broken and the whole place reeked of urine. Hello court date. Fml

agreeclassic 122

vote type 1 6

By "Weikascha" - 04/05/2019 21:32

Today I've been diagnosed with a rib crack. This happened to me while my vacation when I fell off the bike, riding in mountains. Also, I've caught cold, can't breathe. And everytime I cough or sneeze, my rib tends to kill me, it's painful af. It's my BD in a couple of days, fml

agreeclassic 76

vote type 1 5

By Jonathan Mccarthy - 03/05/2019 17:46

Today my 1 year old pulled my laptop down off the desk shattering the hard drive. No big deal I have it backed up. Plug in the back up in to find that the back up drive is corrupted. I mean it only has five years of family pictures with a 1000$ recovery price tag if I can afford it. FML

agreeclassic 79

vote type 1 8

By Anonymous - 02/05/2019 21:21

agreeclassic 74

vote type 1 25

By Anonymous - 01/05/2019 16:37

Today, I tested an old cartoon conspiracy theory where you run and slip on a banana peel. I didn't believe it until I tried it and ended up slipping, falling and breaking my wrist when I hit the ground. Now I have a cast that's going to be on for 2 months. FML

agreeclassic 41

vote type 1 178

By "YoshiSqu4d " - 30/04/2019 05:06

Today, my PC got a blue screen, When I restarted, my hard drive was toast. FML

agreeclassic 67

vote type 1 5

By Anonymous - 24/04/2019 14:10 - Australia - Sydney

Today I went into a chicken shop to buy some lunch, I went up to order and this really hot guy was serving me. I thought he had said how are you Today? So I replied great thanks. It then registered in my mind that he had actually said how can I help you Today? I looked away embarrassed and he laughed at me!. FML

agreeclassic 121

vote type 1 30

By cat_ - 24/04/2019 04:27

Today I walked my dog and instead of peeing on the tree he peed on my leg FML

agreeclassic 134

vote type 1 19

By GertRude - 23/04/2019 23:16

Today, I found out that an all women’s Facebook group is coming to ruin my job, relationship, and face. Why? My sister told everyone I outed her pregnancy over Easter dinner. I didn’t say anything at dinner, and everyone has known she’s been pregnant for weeks. FML

agreeclassic 150

vote type 1 3

By dusty bean - 21/04/2019 09:21

Today, being 420 marks my year anniversary of surviving full-time at Wal-Mart. One year down. One lifetime to go. FML

agreeclassic 100

vote type 1 28

By Anonymous - 21/04/2019 06:54

Today while i was at work my in law family decided to do easter with out me, after they told me they'd just celebrate sunday. I collect easter eggs year round to fill the void of not celebrating growing up, and wanting to give the kiddos a ridiculous amount of eggs. FML

agreeclassic 101

vote type 1 12

By HatingMyself - 21/04/2019 02:08

Today, I went to my older friends home for a cookout. Her son who is around my age started flirting with me and we hooked up. She caught us in the act and can’t stop raving about how excited she is to have me as a daughter in law. FML

agreeclassic 54

vote type 1 138

By Anonymous - 20/04/2019 16:44

Today, my mother tells me that she has been seeing someone other than my dad. We talked for a couple hours about how she needs to tell him about her infidelity, and that I am so not cool with any of this. Then right before I go to bed she tells me to forget about it and say nothing... wtf. I told her like hell I'm going to forget and she shushed me ...FML

agreeclassic 65

vote type 1 1

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I woke up to my boyfriend jumping on my bed exclaiming that he had "won the lottery." He broke the bed. Turns out he only won £15.80. FML

agreeclassic 34 578

vote type 1 3 214

Today, on my building site, I asked one of the guys to pass me a screwdriver. He threw it so hard that when I caught it, it stabbed into the meat of my finger and came clean out the other side. Now all the guys keep joking I got royally screwed. The jokes are worse than the pain. FML

agreeclassic 1 060

vote type 1 121

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

agreeclassic 37 122

vote type 1 20 596

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

agreeclassic 38 357

vote type 1 3 797

Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML

agreeclassic 55 403

vote type 1 4 403

Today, when getting my eyebrows waxed, the lady cursed "oh shit!" under her breath, right after waxing half of my brow off. FML

agreeclassic 13 845

vote type 1 1 112