emz89

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Emz89's favorite FMLs

By mk - 14/06/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, I had to be the one to break it to my daughter that WWE fighting was staged. She began crying. However, last month she didn't shed a single tear at her grandmother's funeral. FML

agreeclassic 41 610

vote type 1 5 722

By shootme - 13/11/2011 22:46 - Canada

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

agreeclassic 17 354

vote type 1 58 576

By notfatanymore - 13/11/2011 20:50 - Germany

Today, the guy I've recently started seeing confided that he's relieved I'm on the heavier side, and that he has a thing for watching chubby women eat. I just reached my ideal weight after losing 40 pounds. FML

agreeclassic 38 397

vote type 1 4 112

By Fought The Law - 29/10/2011 04:51 - United States

Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML

agreeclassic 31 214

vote type 1 6 184

By charlie3289 - 27/10/2013 05:01 - United States

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

agreeclassic 12 744

vote type 1 209 046