sokolb

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Sokolb's favorite FMLs

Procrastination

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

agreeclassic 98 141

vote type 1 16 744

By Anonymous - 10/10/2015 04:43 - Canada - Qualicum Beach

Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with, "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML

agreeclassic 26 443

vote type 1 2 752

By biggs sprhro - 10/10/2015 04:25 - United States - Bryan

Today, my friends were right about me being whipped. My girlfriend now has me setting an alarm for 3 hrs after she's fallen asleep, all so I can uncover her feet so she doesn't get too warm. FML

agreeclassic 21 729

vote type 1 15 445

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

agreeclassic 32 361

vote type 1 4 618

Not helping

By jshsnan - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, while trying to calm down my four-year-old son who was having a tantrum in a store, a man walked up to me and said, "You couldn't have worn a condom?" FML

agreeclassic 25 406

vote type 1 5 830