unicornjoker

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Unicornjoker's favorite FMLs

Welcome…

By Brenden - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Massillon

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

agreeclassic 43 964

vote type 1 7 313

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 15:43 - United States - South Salem

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

agreeclassic 48 889

vote type 1 7 444

By Kaddiscott - 20/01/2014 10:12 - Italy - Marco

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

agreeclassic 44 690

vote type 1 8 144

Kaddiscott app_comment_confession_title

Kaddiscott 11

Monday 20 January 2014 23:29

Hi guys, OP here. I speak fluent french, I just had a little blunder. This was actually like a few months ago when I was on France on holiday, and yeah the seller gave me a funny look and we had a giggle, but then I said, ooops and that I meant to say potato. It was soooo embarrassing, my parents never let me live it down FML hahahah

By Anonymous - 11/01/2014 18:52 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

agreeclassic 51 286

vote type 1 5 501

By Anonymous - 11/01/2014 02:25 - United States

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

agreeclassic 51 994

vote type 1 9 622