Thelongoria

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Corpus Christi ,tx, United States
24 years-old
Tuesday 08 May 2001
single

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Thelongoria's favorite FMLs

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By introublenow - 18/09/2015 12:22 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I woke up to a cat licking my face. I don't have a cat. I quickly put the cat out the front door and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I remembered that I had agreed to take care of my sister's cat for a week. I looked out the door, but the cat is nowhere to be found. FML

agreeclassic 16 970

vote type 1 33 444

By Anonymous - 21/10/2015 04:46 - United States - Middleboro

Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML

agreeclassic 39 577

vote type 1 2 538

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

agreeclassic 26 817

vote type 1 11 984

By Anonymous - 09/10/2015 09:06 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had to choke back tears as my cockslap of a brother brutally mocked me for being a 25-year-old loser who's never been kissed by a girl, while at 14 he's already lost his virginity. FML

agreeclassic 31 222

vote type 1 4 698

Whaaaaat?

By erphy21 - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Lompoc

Today, my 18 year-old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML

agreeclassic 35 437

vote type 1 6 432