Daiquiri_fml

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Daiquiri_fml's favorite FMLs

Flummoxed

By shellie - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Reserved

Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I was so nervous that when she extended her hand to shake mine, I gave her my handbag instead. FML

agreeclassic 28 132

vote type 1 4 506

Detained

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying, "Only these guns!" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. Neither will the cops down at the station. FML

agreeclassic 14 072

vote type 1 51 109

By ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward - 06/12/2011 15:36 - United States

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

agreeclassic 49 605

vote type 1 5 299

By mademoiselleaus - 06/12/2011 12:26 - Australia

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

agreeclassic 30 920

vote type 1 3 325

mademoiselleaus app_comment_confession_title

mademoiselleaus 2

Friday 9 December 2011 17:20

Ella and Fitzgerald? Maria and Sharapova? Harry and Potter? Oh, the endless possibilities!

By Anonymous - 06/12/2011 06:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

agreeclassic 12 065

vote type 1 76 137