PandaFerret

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Pandaferret's favorite FMLs

By Liz - 09/01/2009 08:54 - France

Today, I was teaching a class, but the kids were all talking and chattering. After three soapbox-style speeches about how, "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went, "Meow." FML

agreeclassic 27 218

vote type 1 7 629

By Anonymous - 14/10/2013 00:33 - United States - North Little Rock

Today, I got dumped because a guy sat next to me at a party and I didn't get up to change seats. Apparently, it means I subconsciously like the guy who sat down. FML

agreeclassic 47 381

vote type 1 4 248

By Anonymous - 27/09/2013 20:33 - United States - Spring Branch

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

agreeclassic 80 038

vote type 1 4 559

Man up

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I woke up with horrible pain in my gut. It got worse and worse, and I started vomiting from the pain. My mom said it was the flu and that I needed to "man up." It turned out to be appendicitis, and I'm now typing this from my hospital bed. FML

agreeclassic 58 726

vote type 1 3 239

By OPhere - 15/04/2013 07:37 - United States - Hayward

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me 17 years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

agreeclassic 113 106

vote type 1 4 959

OPhere app_comment_confession_title

OPhere 5

Tuesday 16 April 2013 3:47

OP here. To the people who said I deserved it, my psychotic mother actually had the balls to craft a ******* rejection letter and mail it to me. I was sixteen and had never seen an authentic denial letter from Yale---you guys would've believed it, too, had you been in my shoes. To the people who keep bringing up e-mail: it was 1996. As my generation will tell you, we grew up without the internet. To the people who agree that my mom's a bitch, damn straight she ******* is. My daughters and son will not be seeing much of mee-maw anymore, nor will I. To the people who said I wouldn't be who I am today without that lie: Doesn't matter; parents are supposed to nurture their children, not deprive them for personal gain.