toyhenoctus

miss

0
Followed

0
Followers

16
Badges!

35
Comments

606
Visits

6
Favorites

Not specified
Not specified
single

A propos de Toyhenoctus

Not specified

Toyhenoctus - Followers

Toyhenoctus - Followed

Toyhenoctus's page visits

lovers5201

KathrinLor...

Dynosaur_d...

Starzak

flashback....

Cookie_Ove...

Hiimhailey...

Fucked!

Toyhenoctus's FML badges

1_badgename

1_badgedesc

24_badgename

24_badgedesc

51_badgename

51_badgedesc

19_badgename

19_badgedesc

18_badgename

18_badgedesc

17_badgename

17_badgedesc

15_badgename

15_badgedesc

14_badgename

14_badgedesc

13_badgename

13_badgedesc

57_badgename

57_badgedesc

2_badgename

2_badgedesc

3_badgename

3_badgedesc

63_badgename

63_badgedesc

27_badgename

27_badgedesc

9_badgename

9_badgedesc

47_badgename

47_badgedesc

46_badgename

46_badgedesc

48_badgename

48_badgedesc

45_badgename

45_badgedesc

49_badgename

49_badgedesc

54_badgename

54_badgedesc

59_badgename

59_badgedesc

61_badgename

61_badgedesc

62_badgename

62_badgedesc

44_badgename

44_badgedesc

43_badgename

43_badgedesc

42_badgename

42_badgedesc

4_badgename

4_badgedesc

5_badgename

5_badgedesc

6_badgename

6_badgedesc

10_badgename

10_badgedesc

11_badgename

11_badgedesc

16_badgename

16_badgedesc

21_badgename

21_badgedesc

26_badgename

26_badgedesc

32_badgename

32_badgedesc

33_badgename

33_badgedesc

38_badgename

38_badgedesc

41_badgename

41_badgedesc

64_badgename

64_badgedesc

badgeslisttofind

Toyhenoctus's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 15/02/2015 17:57 - Denmark

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

agreeclassic 37 434

vote type 1 3 277

The Patriarch

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Mentor

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

agreeclassic 41 556

vote type 1 4 358

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 01:27 - United States

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

agreeclassic 37 248

vote type 1 4 005

By _sempiternus - 16/11/2013 16:18 - United States

Today, during school, I passed out in the lunch line and hit my head on the metal rail as I fell. Rather than helping or expressing concern at all, my friends simply left my unconscious body on the floor. Why? They had to get to the lasagna before the cafeteria ran out of it. FML

agreeclassic 50 556

vote type 1 4 141

_sempiternus app_comment_confession_title

_sempiternus 11

Sunday 17 November 2013 0:41

For those of you that were wondering- yes, I'm alright. :) I'm anemic, and sometimes it catches up to me and I'll start to get lightheaded/faint. I hadn't been feeling well all day, and thought food might help... Guess I was a bit late. In regards to my 'friends', I suppose I used the term loosely. They aren't my closest friends by far, but I've known them for years. We were close enough that I ASSUMED the sight of me falling and bashing my head open would be more important than their need for dry, school-food lasagna. And, in response to one commenter, I didn't expect them to immediately transform into doctors. But it still doesn't feel too great when the people you call 'friends' step over you, sprawled on the ground and bleeding, in favor of food. And no, I don't speak to them anymore. We had a fall out shortly after this incident. Ah well, highschool is a joke anyways.

By OPhere - 15/04/2013 07:37 - United States - Hayward

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me 17 years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

agreeclassic 113 106

vote type 1 4 959

OPhere app_comment_confession_title

OPhere 5

Tuesday 16 April 2013 3:47

OP here. To the people who said I deserved it, my psychotic mother actually had the balls to craft a ******* rejection letter and mail it to me. I was sixteen and had never seen an authentic denial letter from Yale---you guys would've believed it, too, had you been in my shoes. To the people who keep bringing up e-mail: it was 1996. As my generation will tell you, we grew up without the internet. To the people who agree that my mom's a bitch, damn straight she ******* is. My daughters and son will not be seeing much of mee-maw anymore, nor will I. To the people who said I wouldn't be who I am today without that lie: Doesn't matter; parents are supposed to nurture their children, not deprive them for personal gain.