Sayori101

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Sayori101's favorite FMLs

By delicious - 06/01/2016 03:05 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I poured boiling water over my instant noodles. A freshly boiled cockroach also rolled out onto my noodles. FML

agreeclassic 21 889

vote type 1 2 344

Sensual world

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 15:05 - United Kingdom - Eastleigh

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML

agreeclassic 30 277

vote type 1 3 024

By Anonymous - 13/10/2015 07:35 - United States - Davis

Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML

agreeclassic 34 999

vote type 1 6 188

By Anonymous - 14/01/2014 16:15 - United Kingdom - Chester

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

agreeclassic 46 983

vote type 1 4 986

By calivianya - 28/08/2012 04:49 - United States - Greensboro

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

agreeclassic 23 140

vote type 1 2 200

calivianya app_comment_confession_title

calivianya 29

Tuesday 28 August 2012 18:02

Just so you guys know, I have a whole lot of furniture. I'm pretty sure the cricket was hiding under one of the pieces of furniture, but every time I got near my couch, ottoman, armchair, side table, or bookcase, it stopped chirping. It was pretty hard to tell where it was coming from!