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Paypwip's favorite FMLs

By ohshittttttt - 04/04/2009 16:15 - United States

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

agreeclassic 22 511

vote type 1 158 594

Mix up

By anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Richardson

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

agreeclassic 13 687

vote type 1 61 160

Creepy but funny

By Anonymous - 01/06/2012 20:46 - Greece - Athens

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

agreeclassic 36 877

vote type 1 3 112

By Anonymous - 23/09/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

agreeclassic 12 930

vote type 1 37 715

Uh oh…

By Anonymous - 22/09/2010 19:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

agreeclassic 51 740

vote type 1 10 876