Noodle911

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Perth, Australia, United States
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Noodle911's favorite FMLs

By Michelle C - 26/01/2009 03:44 - United States

Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML

agreeclassic 28 774

vote type 1 5 585

God laughs

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 08:17 - United States

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

agreeclassic 41 378

vote type 1 15 440

Smooth

By Rhine - 16/12/2012 23:51 - Barbados - Bridgetown

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

agreeclassic 33 196

vote type 1 15 079

By ladylol - 24/11/2012 13:54 - United Kingdom - Towcester

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

agreeclassic 40 205

vote type 1 12 537

By sad face - 24/11/2012 11:54 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

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