AwkwardAthena

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Awkwardathena's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 17:38 - United States

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

agreeclassic 54 210

vote type 1 17 639

By Bex98 - 11/01/2016 08:17 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

agreeclassic 27 786

vote type 1 8 066

Bex98 app_comment_confession_title

Bex98 6

Tuesday 12 January 2016 1:03

So, this is my FML. I'm not sure if it's verified, because I keep forgetting my passwords. Like a complete ******* haha. But anyways, this answer was prompted because I asked the server to describe the alfredo sauce, and she said: "It's creamy and white." Also, the FML about the veteran and his pickup line was also mine a few months ago, and of course I didn't have an account when I posted then either. Also, my brother did not willingly hang out with me haha. My family and a few other families were travelling together, and the teenagers, who all happened to be friends of my brother, went to eat together.

DMV blues

By usadisvet - 02/04/2015 06:43 - United States - Loudon

Today, at the DMV, I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and that my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, placing my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

agreeclassic 43 337

vote type 1 2 647

Confused

By dammit hearing aid - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Wallingford

Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML

agreeclassic 43 121

vote type 1 22 679

Just a prank, again

By momaaa1342 - 21/10/2013 03:51 - United States - Elmwood

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

agreeclassic 46 750

vote type 1 3 610