lemmegetsumpizza

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Lemmegetsumpizza's favorite FMLs

By NoNaMe - 04/06/2009 08:07 - Australia

Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML

agreeclassic 10 643

vote type 1 75 225

By sunkissedevil - 31/03/2016 02:52 - United States - Fergus Falls

Today, someone accused me of stuffing my bra when some tissue fell out. I was too embarrassed to tell them I wasn't stuffing, the tissue was used to sop up my boob sweat. FML

agreeclassic 18 667

vote type 1 1 896

sunkissedevil app_comment_confession_title

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Monday 25 April 2016 5:57

Thank you everyone for your help! My friend suggested I use Monkey Butt powder since her boyfriend uses it for his butt sweat xD so problem solved! I use it everyday :) Still use tissues or washcloth if I know I'll be getting freaky with the BF later so he doesn't taste the powder! (or just use a wipe to clean off lol)

Quack

By Anonymous - 25/03/2016 03:14 - New Zealand - Takanini

Today, I went to the doctor's after over a week of feeling extremely tired and having headaches. His advice? "When I'm tired I drink coffee. You should drink coffee." Somehow, I don't think that was worth $60. FML

agreeclassic 20 714

vote type 1 1 594

By :x - 03/02/2016 15:40 - United States - Richmond

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

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vote type 1 5 377

By badplannning - 04/10/2015 17:51 - United States - Naperville

Today, thanks to the terrible carpool planning of one of my friends, I had the pleasure of driving both of my ex-boyfriends to homecoming. Neither one of them knew that I had dated the other, but they sure do now. FML

agreeclassic 22 584

vote type 1 3 962

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badplannning 8

Tuesday 6 October 2015 1:06

OP here. My friend only knew I had dated one of the guys, but admittedly made me drive with him on purpose just to screw with me (I also think she wants us to get back to together). Driving with both of them just happened to be some bad luck, and I didn't have a chance to tell my friend about the awkward situation until afterwards. As far as the guys go, I didn't cheat on either one; I just never discussed my relationship with the first guy when I dated the second guy. It overall wasn't THAT bad of a ride, just incredibly uncomfortable with lots of questions and some sarcastic comments from both of them. It was like something out of a sitcom honestly