derekneko

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Derekneko's favorite FMLs

By startingover - 18/07/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, I was at work in a lab. I spent all day growing a large bacterial culture. I went to retrieve it, only to find that someone had turned the incubation shaker up too high, and my flask had flown off and shattered. Not only did I lose all my work, but now the whole room is a biohazard. FML

agreeclassic 45 362

vote type 1 3 603

Sensual world

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 15:05 - United Kingdom - Eastleigh

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML

agreeclassic 30 278

vote type 1 3 024

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 00:57 - United States - Wichita

Today, my husband finally admitted that he squandered the last three months of my share of the rent on booze. He then blamed me, demanded more money, asked for a divorce, and stormed out. When he returned he asked, "How am I the bad guy?" FML

agreeclassic 28 667

vote type 1 2 283

By biggs sprhro - 10/10/2015 04:25 - United States - Bryan

Today, my friends were right about me being whipped. My girlfriend now has me setting an alarm for 3 hrs after she's fallen asleep, all so I can uncover her feet so she doesn't get too warm. FML

agreeclassic 21 729

vote type 1 15 445

By DSCC - 28/09/2015 03:07 - United States - Akron

Today, I noticed I spend so much time with my cats that I tend to hiss at things that scare me or that I don't like. I'm turning into a cat. FML

agreeclassic 21 508

vote type 1 9 971

DSCC app_comment_confession_title

DSCC 19

Monday 28 September 2015 16:15

Op here I happen to take regular showers and I have a boyfriend I've been with for 5 years so just because I may be a crazy cat lady does not mean I am single or smelly have a good day sir :)