janinee

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Janinee's favorite FMLs

Bath time [GONE WRONG][CREEPYPASTA]

By noname - 27/12/2008 04:07 - France

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

agreeclassic 40 319

vote type 1 23 919

By grrrr - 08/02/2010 00:35 - United States

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

agreeclassic 34 432

vote type 1 2 897

By kerry - 20/01/2010 05:30 - Canada

Today, I found a piece of rice in my belly button. I can't remember the last time I ate or handled rice. FML

agreeclassic 9 516

vote type 1 37 128

PARTAY!

By Life of the party - 19/08/2009 05:13 - France

Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML

agreeclassic 13 882

vote type 1 55 881

By theregoesmyspermcount - 02/08/2009 22:45 - United States

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

agreeclassic 69 872

vote type 1 5 708