Slap in the face
By deadmedia - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada
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By snakeboy - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia
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He refused to go with me on vacation because he said that Italy was too hot. You can ask him why he didn't want to go. I put the chicken in a container and handed it to him because I figured if he wanted to keep it lying around the house while I was gone, he wouldn't mind eating it while he was finding a place that would take his lazy ass in.