ispeakmeme

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Burke, USA
32 years-old
Saturday 02 October 1993
couple

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Ispeakmeme's favorite FMLs

That's a no, then?

By no new apartment for me - 18/07/2013 19:53 - United States - Hagerstown

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

agreeclassic 51 708

vote type 1 4 217

By I hate my job - 08/06/2013 22:20 - United States

Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML

agreeclassic 56 938

vote type 1 4 311

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 10:34 - United States - Bessemer

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

agreeclassic 67 573

vote type 1 15 231

By Anonymous - 06/06/2013 18:47 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

agreeclassic 56 383

vote type 1 3 884

By The Clitshank Redemption - 05/06/2013 23:11 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

agreeclassic 88 263

vote type 1 12 457