When I try to quit junk food By Lewis - 08/12/2018 18:00 I'm not a quitter! I agree, your life sucks 281 You deserved it 94 Share Tweet Share
Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she found a lot of red lipstick on my neck. The red lipstick was from her lipstick because she came over in the middle of the night when she was really drunk, then left. She refuses to listen to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 39 472 You deserved it 3 220
Today, my dad tried to get me to change my resume. Here's the fun part: I took resume classes and had a career coach help me make it. Even knowing all that, he still insisted I change the entire thing. A perfectly fine professional resume into one that resembles a Word resume template. I just want to scream right now. FML I agree, your life sucks 832 You deserved it 173
Today, I had a panic attack. Not on a crowded train, or an airplane, or in school, or any of the expected places. It was in my yoga class, which my therapist recommended for me, while I was in a dead-body position. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 775 You deserved it 4 001
Today, I asked my dad for advice. I recently got drunk and had a one-night stand. I feel terrible, because I'm engaged to a wonderful lady. My dad just said, "You did the right thing, son, keep it up. She's gonna steal half ya shit in the divorce anyway". FML I agree, your life sucks 22 773 You deserved it 34 468
Today, I had a huge argument with my wife because I declined a lunch invite with a married couple who live nearby. My wife has severe social anxiety, so having a friend nearby is a huge win for her. What my wife doesn’t know is that her new friend keeps hitting on me, and has already sent me unsolicited nudes. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 069 You deserved it 325
Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 054 You deserved it 3 491
Yup that's me when there is white chocolate in the house 😋