Wake Up Call - FML

Wake Up Call

By FML Approved - 07/10/2017 03:00

The most frustrating sound ever.

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 89

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Top comments

Donut_Wizard 23

Saturday 7 October 2017 4:05

This is usually followed by the "plotting their demise knowing that you will never actually act on it" phase.

Comments

Donut_Wizard 23

Saturday 7 October 2017 4:05

This is usually followed by the "plotting their demise knowing that you will never actually act on it" phase.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I got home and I saw my dad come out of the kitchen in a red silk hood. I had no idea what the hell he was doing, until I went inside and heard him upstairs say to mum, “Oh my grandma, what a big mouth you have.” Hell of a way to discover your parents like roleplay in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 279

You deserved it 254

Today, I pissed out a kidney stone the size of a sweetcorn. Doesn’t sound big, but you just try pissing one out. My poor knob feels like it’s been attacked by rusty steel wool wrapped around a full-speed drill bit. I’m genuinely scared that the next time I piss will be full of blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 294

You deserved it 156

Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 510

You deserved it 2 065

Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 209

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, and he thought it would be funny to steal my ring and "pretend" to swallow it. I tried to get it back, but unfortunately I "surprised" him. He reckons I'll get it back some time tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 800

You deserved it 237

Today, my family finally noticed my depression because of how quiet, down and uninterested I’ve been. They responded by harassing me for saying nothing, calling me names, and making fun of me. Hmm, I wonder why I’m depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 129