Unsatisfactory result By John Doe - 17/01/2020 14:00 Today, I shaved my penis at the request at my girlfriend. She said that it still looked small. FML agreeclassic 83 vote type 1 22 Share Tweet Share
Today, I finished my classwork and my homework early. Since we weren't allowed to leave the room, I decided to draw. My teacher noticed and gave me detention for "goofing off" when I should be doing my work. When I told the teacher I was already done, they gave me a second detention for "attempting to defy them". FML agreeclassic 36 146 vote type 1 3 039
Today, a client hung up on me after calling me "Miss Proper" because I spoke too "clearly" for her. FML agreeclassic 918 vote type 1 69
Today, and ever since she got pregnant, my girlfriend has been hinting that one of her great-grandfathers was black, so there’s a chance our son may be black too. I wasn’t suspicious before, but she has mentioned it so often I’m starting to think it’s less a great grandad and more a baby daddy issue. FML agreeclassic 1 607 vote type 1 135
Today, I finally made the last payment on the beautiful engagement ring I bought and proposed with - two years ago. To my ex-girlfriend, who said no and promptly started sleeping with one of my friends. FML agreeclassic 38 463 vote type 1 3 197
Today, I caught a lady attempting to steal a watermelon by putting it in her shirt. When I confronted her, she claimed to be pregnant and threatened to sue me and the store for discriminating against mothers. Nice try, but the watermelon fell out. FML agreeclassic 3 758 vote type 1 263
Today, I went to a yard sale and found a cute plush duck. I sent a pic of it to my friend with the message "Jackpot!" I guess she didn't see the pic because she called me up all excited, thinking my boyfriend of 6 years finally proposed to me. "No, I said, I just found a big duck for $1." FML agreeclassic 43 444 vote type 1 7 052
Oh boy 😟