Love: Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked... - FML

By bootyislife - 03/02/2015 04:36 - United States - Seattle

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

agreeclassic 45 297

vote type 1 4 995

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By spitty - 14/04/2015 21:50 - United States - Willoughby

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

agreeclassic 31 533

vote type 1 2 191

By WorstMedicalBill - 20/11/2009 14:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

agreeclassic 11 207

vote type 1 21 883

You coming?

By snotface - 23/04/2009 19:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

agreeclassic 76 828

vote type 1 8 873

By Walter - 24/10/2015 03:17 - Spain

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

agreeclassic 32 172

vote type 1 6 266

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 2 474

vote type 1 791

That'll do it

By Zippyzoo - 03/02/2009 22:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

agreeclassic 41 367

vote type 1 9 142

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

agreeclassic 4 598

vote type 1 1 636

We all do it. Don't we?

By Anonymous - 30/08/2010 07:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML

agreeclassic 45 087

vote type 1 13 771

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

agreeclassic 29 943

vote type 1 4 510

The sensual world

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 21:51 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML

agreeclassic 34 484

vote type 1 18 137

Next

TOP COMMENTS

Devindelon 17

Tuesday 3 February 2015 14:50

So, I'm guessing there was no need for oil.

icedexplosion 19

Tuesday 3 February 2015 14:48

Was it sexy?

Comments

hammonds92 21

Thursday 5 March 2015 7:27

She was just marking what's hers

bailuv 5

Sunday 20 September 2015 23:24

Hahahahaha... Hilarious! That sounds like me *facepalm*

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, when asked confirm my login details via text or automated phone call, I chose the phone call to pretend that someone actually cared enough to call me. FML

agreeclassic 784

vote type 1 222

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML

agreeclassic 55 803

vote type 1 4 995

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

agreeclassic 49 693

vote type 1 6 453

Today, I was asked by my neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his son whacking off while watching me. His son is 28 years-old and still lives at home. I'm 18. FML

agreeclassic 64 872

vote type 1 4 675

Today, I found out why my husband doesn't want me to go to the doctor. It's not because of the reasonable copay. It's because he has let 3 other women use my insurance to give birth, in the last 4 years. They are all his. FML

agreeclassic 21 190

vote type 1 1 132

Today, I'm exhausted. My neighbours across the street had an argument about loud metal music. After a threat of, "Turn the heavy metal off or I’ll burn your house down," the music changed to Katy Perry’s "Firebird". For two hours. FML

agreeclassic 896

vote type 1 188