Health Today, my friend convinced me that a staple gun doesn't work...

ouch - 08/03/2011 15:50 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend convinced me that a staple gun doesn't work on skin. I decided to put this new piece of information to the test. FML

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Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! …

leprechaun23 - 23/04/2012 04:21 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML

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Anonymous - 06/07/2011 18:45 - United States

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

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neveragain - 16/03/2012 05:11 - Canada

Today, I gave in and let my friend give me a makeover. She couldn't find my eyelash curler, but decided that if she used scissors lightly, it would work just the same. Needless to say, it did not work. FML

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Burn!

morningeyes - - United States

Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML

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wtf - 09/06/2011 15:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

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Anonymous - 03/06/2012 05:50 - United States - Egg Harbor Township

Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML

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41k312 - 01/11/2016 05:03

Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML

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Everest - 22/11/2018 14:00

Today, I got several thumbtacks jabbed into me. Why? Because my cousin thought it would be a funny prank to superglue a bunch of thumbtacks to his nerf darts. My left forearm is still bleeding. FML

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BadassNinja - 05/09/2009 16:22 - United States

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML

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Staples - 15/05/2010 06:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

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Alleged_Cranium 7

Tuesday 8 March 2011 19:09

Since you're not using it, would you donate your brain to science? They could use it to study the null-brain.

sweet_candy_ 17

Tuesday 8 March 2011 19:08

You should have tried it on your friend.

peacelovehappine_fml 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 17:36

WOW!!! Your an IDIOT!!!!!!!

MiSSxxuNDeRSTooD 4

Saturday 19 March 2011 6:11

I did that once too.... when I was 3.

lizliz23 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 4:41

wow ur stupid

sarz14 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 12:09

watta head

OreoLovesFez 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 17:41

YDI, juss saayin..

ItsJussAle 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 22:46

YOU ARE SO STUPID!!!!!! XD Man.. *Smh* Haven't You Ever Seen Tha Movies?!? ;)

ItsJussAle 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 22:48

YOU ARE SO STUPID!!!!!! XD Man.. *Smh* Haven't You Ever Seen Tha Movies?!? ;)

OMGBBQ 0

Thursday 14 April 2011 21:25

Dumbass! :D Just kidding.

MrBobby_fml 7

Sunday 17 April 2011 3:18

You may be thick, but if it makes you feel better, you made me laugh! :p

lizzysoccer14 4

Thursday 21 April 2011 4:16

you are a dumbass

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I spent 65 dollars in cab fare and skipped half of my grade 12 classes, including a unit test, to see my girlfriend on our two year anniversary. I arrived just in time to see her kiss her other boyfriend of over a year good bye. FML

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Today, I wanted to punish a student for being late. I decided to start a pop quiz before he arrived. I was positive there wasn't enough time for him to finish. He scored full marks and I couldn't say a word. FML

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Today, my husband announced that he was fed up with us being known as the neighborhood slobs, and prepared to take down all the Christmas decorations still up from last year. He then decided it was too much effort, and that he'd leave them up to give us a three month head-start. FML

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Today, I leaned against a bus window and felt something wet soak into my shoulder. I turned and realized I had just pressed into someone’s half-eaten tuna sandwich wedged into the seat crack. I went on to smelling like fish and mayo all day. FML

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Today, I took my puppy for a walk around town. I had to stop and explain to several people that yes, his head was purple because my little sister wanted to make him look like a Na'vi from Avatar. FML

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Today, I'm so broke after my recent divorce that I stole toilet paper from my church. I'm the pastor. FML

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