Cute Kids Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone...

anon - 09/07/2011 04:48 - Australia

Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her it meant that they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She's 16. FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

Anonymous - 18/07/2013 14:38 - United States - Seattle

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

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ulisha5 - 02/08/2013 21:54 - Bulgaria - Burgas

Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML

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Anonymous - 28/01/2014 21:57 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

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Wind? Thief? Hit and run?

Where is My Tree? - 28/02/2025 03:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I woke up and found that the tree in my front yard was gone. FML

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Anonymous - 30/10/2010 05:07 - New Zealand

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

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wjones - 15/12/2009 15:06 - United States

Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year-old guy. FML

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Anonymous - 20/08/2019 00:01

Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML

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Love and hate

bad mom? lol - 22/04/2022 06:00

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school. They found her on the roof, threatening to kill herself. I had to pretend to sound scared and sad over the phone, but in reality, the only emotion I could feel was extreme joy. FML

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Misunderstanding

Anonymous - 11/11/2019 03:00

Today, my boss sent me to remove a tree from a client's home. So I went and cut down the tree, only for my boss to show up an hour later, speechless. I was supposed to remove a sapling that had sprouted through the driveway tarmac, not the 100-year-old prizewinning Japanese cherry tree. FML

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RIP it up and start again

A girl - - Netherlands

Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML

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lol_ironic_life 9

Saturday 9 July 2011 12:06

Parent-"That poor tree has been in tree heaven for a while dear."

chrstygrl06 10

Saturday 9 July 2011 12:09

LEAVE THE TREE ALONE!!

ilovemychem 22

Tuesday 10 February 2015 19:27

maybe teach her what a tree is again! lol

blostrich_ 19

Friday 17 April 2015 17:39

Must've been on her menstruation then xD those hormones are crazy.

EmeraldArcher 10

Monday 25 January 2016 5:20

I detect a failed abortion.

IHaveThePower 16

Monday 26 June 2023 7:19

At 16, the amount of brain growth and hormonal changes is scientifically referred to as 'an unholy abomination known only to Satan and those who ally with him'. That said, you may want to run her past a doctor for mood disorders or empathy disorders.