Animals: Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having...

By birthdayfun - 23/03/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 39

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

0___0 9

Tuesday 24 March 2009 9:07

Was it your 16th birthday at least? D:

uhnonnuhmus 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 10:26

To get revenge, just throw the stray cat into the shower with your mom someday. Then run like hell.

Comments

yaknowiverse 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 20:42

that stinks. I'm sorry about your face getting scratched

Scarlettx7 0

Friday 9 December 2011 4:31

She's slow

Dianaax33 9

Sunday 11 December 2011 13:52

Your mother is a bitch. Happy Birthday!

eatsleepjb 8

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:44

Your mom needs help

xxDefiantxx 0

Sunday 5 February 2012 15:53

Make up some bullshit story of how a man attacked you thoth a knie ;)

katiedoll6 7

Saturday 31 March 2012 1:22

Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Happy birthday Happy birthday to you ???????????????

ChrisHex 6

Sunday 20 May 2012 5:09

seems like your mom isn't the smartest knife in the crayon box...

kayrachelle17 3

Wednesday 19 September 2012 7:18

I love dogs!

paprika_pilipili_fml 14

Friday 15 February 2013 23:28

I hate cats. They leave hairs and puke all over the place.

Kenton1008 21

Monday 25 March 2013 1:59

So do dogs, genius.

happyfingers 15

Thursday 3 October 2013 21:03

Who throws a cat at people?! The nails.... Owww, the nails.....

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I had to contact my bank because their fraud department thought me buying gifts for 7 different people for Christmas was fraud. It wouldn't be a big deal, except they then wouldn't accept the original purchase and I had to go to the website to get the purchase to go through a second time. My bank is paranoid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 106

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 041

You deserved it 7 481

Today, my mom argued with me that I should have went to an emergency room a further 18 minutes away from me, during a near fatal allergic reaction, so I would've received "better care." FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 86

Today, I lost my dream job after a week, after being told, "When I hired you, I wasn't honest. I wasn't looking to hire an examiner, I wanted someone to replace me so I can retire in a year. I don't have time to train you for that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 516

You deserved it 290

Today, I told the coworker who sits next to me that I don't smoke weed anymore, after she brought a spliff to work. I then got called into the directors' boardroom to receive a warning for smelling like marijuana at work. I was only allowed one more warning before they were due to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 204

Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 902

You deserved it 11 727