Intimacy: Today, I woke up to my girlfriend trying to give me a paper cut... - FML

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By Deadlyhump - 26/04/2016 23:49 - United States - Kemmerer

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend trying to give me a paper cut on my penis. FML

agreeclassic 159

vote type 1 13

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Lonely_Kid 14

Wednesday 27 April 2016 15:10

That's could never happen to me because I don't have a girlfriend. But the possibility of my hand going haywire because of the alien hand syndrome and doing that to my penis is still a possibility.

Comments

TheNoNameGuy 20

Wednesday 27 April 2016 13:56

how could that have happened to anyone... this update kinda sucks

Lonely_Kid 14

Wednesday 27 April 2016 15:10

That's could never happen to me because I don't have a girlfriend. But the possibility of my hand going haywire because of the alien hand syndrome and doing that to my penis is still a possibility.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, while I was working in the drive-through at work, a lady was wearing kitchen oven-mitts and a snorkeling mask instead of gloves and a mask to pick up her prescription. FML

agreeclassic 878

vote type 1 117

Today, I was on a long road trip with my son. He had to pee, and told him he had to wait till I could stop the car. He started counting backwards from 10. I couldn't stop in time. FML

agreeclassic 13 037

vote type 1 2 241

Today, I've been dating a girl for a year and she's only touched my penis twice. Once by accident. FML

agreeclassic 29 072

vote type 1 12 994

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

agreeclassic 51 854

vote type 1 17 125

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

agreeclassic 39 108

vote type 1 5 035

Today, I found out my husband has been flirting with and dating behind my back the nurse who treats my cancer. He admitted that he needs someone healthy and not someone who’s “gonna be sick all the time.” He also attempted to justify it by saying, “You’re gonna die anyway and then what am I gonna do?” FML

agreeclassic 2 231

vote type 1 153