Health: Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with...

By brileyyyy - 12/01/2010 03:40 - United States

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

agreeclassic 33 802

vote type 1 4 267

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Mush

By Tired Tater - 05/06/2023 20:00 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML

agreeclassic 311

vote type 1 1 500

By Knottywoman - 03/09/2017 23:15

Today, I dreamt my fiancé was rolling frozen potatoes onto my bed to wake me up. In reality I woke up screaming to intense cramps in my legs which almost reduced me to tears. I could barely walk for two hours. FML

agreeclassic 3 243

vote type 1 246

By Anonymous - 05/01/2017 11:20

Today, I found out what rotten cooked potato both smells and tastes like. FML

agreeclassic 7 795

vote type 1 1 885

By Arielle - 31/01/2012 11:07 - Australia

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

agreeclassic 26 627

vote type 1 4 407

Funny, thanks

By picklebug - 26/07/2013 16:25 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

agreeclassic 53 747

vote type 1 10 298

By WildShortstop13 - 28/01/2015 22:20 - United States - Rapid City

Today, I fell asleep curling my bangs. I now look like Mrs. Potato head. FML

agreeclassic 20 303

vote type 1 13 290

The ball game

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of a sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML

agreeclassic 39 138

vote type 1 3 271

Ironic

By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 11:02 - United States

Today, on my way out to get salt for the driveway, I fell and split my head. I'm now sitting in the ER waiting room. FML

agreeclassic 944

vote type 1 97

By anon - 26/07/2010 04:22 - United States

Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML

agreeclassic 43 122

vote type 1 3 240

By mark807 - 28/04/2012 06:52 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I fell and hit my head on hard concrete. When I went to the emergency room for a CT Scan, the nurse hit me in the head with an IV pole. FML

agreeclassic 30 518

vote type 1 2 171

24788 6

Tuesday 12 January 2010 9:08

Potatoes are full of win.

mrsd9494 7

Tuesday 12 January 2010 9:47

who throws potatoes?!?!???!

Comments

Aha09 1

Wednesday 13 January 2010 2:41

That was a girl, LMAO. Potato: +1 OP: 0 ^_^

krissyfsherlife 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 2:51

AHH YOU GOT TO WATCH OUT FOR THOSE FLYING POTATOS! haha

Alexifish 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 2:54

wow, that made me lol. I hope that was from a potato gun or something, lol

Chelsers13524 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 3:22

Only in the USA could something like that happen

balbinaballerina 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 4:09

what a stupid fml

nood_fml 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 4:55

and the potato strikes again!!!! :D

Kalyov 5

Wednesday 13 January 2010 7:54

its like cloudy with a chance of meatballs!

KarmaLanding 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 9:41

On the plus side, this will all be hilarious in a few years...

KagamiSama 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 0:46

That made my day. xD

la_reina7 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 0:52

lmfao this just made my day :D

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Keywords

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Today, I was teaching my two year old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML

agreeclassic 31 158

vote type 1 13 645

Today, after I grounded my barely 18 year-old daughter for having sex with her boyfriend when I found a pack of condoms in her room while cleaning it, she responded by moving out and eloping with him. FML

agreeclassic 338

vote type 1 3 167

Today, my mother found out I published a book. She demanded that I pay her all my royalties as repayment for her raising me. FML

agreeclassic 23 840

vote type 1 1 538

Today, while on the train heading to my new job, my coat caught between two seats. I didn't notice until my stop. I whacked myself in the face in front of everyone trying to get it free, and ended up missing my stop. When I finally got to work, I was told not to bother coming in again. FML

agreeclassic 34 444

vote type 1 2 799

Today, my best friend’s parents told me they’re gonna take me to court and sue me for “all I got.” Turns out, he'd committed suicide after I got in a relationship with someone else. Apparently, he’s had feelings for me for a while and couldn’t handle that fact. FML

agreeclassic 1 244

vote type 1 123

Today, I was jogging through the park and in my enthusiasm I thought I’d be able to jump over a bench in my stride. I tripped mid-jump, landed face-first in the grass, and scared a group of schoolkids who were on a tour of the city. FML

agreeclassic 129

vote type 1 510