Today I realized why I lose so many guitar picks and then keep...

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By guitargod - 06/01/2017 10:11

Today I realized why I lose so many guitar picks and then keep finding them down the side of the couch. My little sister uses them to masturbate to Justin Bieber music videos. I told her she needs to improve her taste in music. FML.

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King_Cucklord 0

Friday 13 January 2017 6:09

omg wtf XD

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King_Cucklord 0

Friday 13 January 2017 6:09

omg wtf XD

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Today, just as I was starting to get better with my depression through medication and therapy, my partner decided we needed to break up. He's been completely unsupportive and hasn’t cared. I’m just sad that this worsens my depression more than missing him. FML

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vote type 1 178

Today, our landlord came over to chop down our cherished apple tree. While doing so, he ate one of the apples, concurring that they really did taste excellent. FML

agreeclassic 1 286

vote type 1 131

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

agreeclassic 41 249

vote type 1 3 728

Today, while making love to my wife, I let slip her sister's name. I don't think it would calm her down much if I told the truth: I was actually thinking of an ex girlfriend who shares the same name. FML

agreeclassic 13 373

vote type 1 67 577

Today, I attended my high school reunion and was feeling good about the gym progress I’d made. Looking fabulous, I was ready to relive my glory days when I got into a conversation with someone I didn’t recognize. He had to remind me that we were in the same chemistry class for two years. I had no idea who he was. FML

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vote type 1 420

Today, my sister and I were trying to teach our kids how to Double Dutch. While giving a demonstration of how to jump in while the ropes were turning, my feet got jumbled. I ended up faceplanting in front of all the kids, who screamed in horror at my bloodied face and missing tooth. FML

agreeclassic 1 446

vote type 1 387