Health: Today, I realized that I'm so goddamn lazy that my body has trained... - FML

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By FastTurtle9 - 13/05/2016 14:11 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I realized that I'm so goddamn lazy that my body has trained itself to have to go to the bathroom when I start doing physical labor. FML

agreeclassic 131

vote type 1 36

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smallandroid 26

Friday 13 May 2016 22:04

That could be en entirely different problem, OP. I know when I had kidney stones, if I jumped around or anything I could end up pissing myself. Might be worth checking out?

GhostFox 33

Tuesday 17 May 2016 10:24

Actually, exercise causes bowel movements among other issues. Look up "runner's *****" if you are brave enough.

Comments

smallandroid 26

Friday 13 May 2016 22:04

That could be en entirely different problem, OP. I know when I had kidney stones, if I jumped around or anything I could end up pissing myself. Might be worth checking out?

JTBSpartan 4

Saturday 14 May 2016 4:34

I feel for you OP. I am in the same situation

GhostFox 33

Tuesday 17 May 2016 10:24

Actually, exercise causes bowel movements among other issues. Look up "runner's *****" if you are brave enough.

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Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML

agreeclassic 23 054

vote type 1 3 499

Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML

agreeclassic 27 772

vote type 1 4 247

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agreeclassic 9 192

vote type 1 6 752

Today, my guinea pig was resting on my shoulder. However, I forgot to tie my hair up and she gnawed off a clump of it that was a good 6 inches long. I had to fight her to get it out of her mouth. FML

agreeclassic 30 766

vote type 1 9 912

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

agreeclassic 25 673

vote type 1 2 515

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

agreeclassic 17 002

vote type 1 29 385