Animals: Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead...

By ItHurtsLIkeHell - 01/03/2010 09:13 - Malaysia

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

agreeclassic 11 924

vote type 1 43 093

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By Roselyn Cazares - 23/07/2017 19:55

Today, I was petting my female hamster when I felt a big mass under her. I immediately thought it was a tumor so I poked it to see if it hurt her. It didn't. Turns out my female hamster is actually a male, and he has really big balls. I touched my hamster's balls. FML

agreeclassic 4 166

vote type 1 1 940

By whymommywhy - 21/04/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

agreeclassic 57 300

vote type 1 26 980

By zac545 - 19/02/2009 06:14 - United States

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

agreeclassic 53 961

vote type 1 11 247

By roze198765 - 04/08/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

agreeclassic 45 890

vote type 1 4 392

By EpicFail - 04/02/2009 23:29 - United States

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

agreeclassic 40 790

vote type 1 16 013

Poor little guy

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 14:01

Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML

agreeclassic 946

vote type 1 175

So…

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML

agreeclassic 58 777

vote type 1 7 632

By deadhamster - 03/02/2012 18:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

agreeclassic 42 460

vote type 1 5 057

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 06:10 - United States

Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML

agreeclassic 19 622

vote type 1 53 660

By HttpsHaileyy - 15/06/2015 20:02 - United States

Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML

agreeclassic 27 805

vote type 1 9 596

RedTriceratops 0

Monday 1 March 2010 16:05

But I don't have testicles.

cabbitt 0

Monday 1 March 2010 16:07

I hope you learned to look where you sit.

Comments

Britter903 6

Saturday 29 October 2011 23:39

It dies if you sit on it the right way

XxTooCoolxX 0

Sunday 6 November 2011 4:39

What happens if you have none? o.O

MissMeanie 5

Wednesday 14 December 2011 2:26

If you sit on any creature you risk getting your balls bitten!

LadyKnightmare_fml 1

Wednesday 4 January 2012 15:31

um... You do know how to spell, Correct? So you would know it's Learned not learnt...

Unlucky_Gun 0

Tuesday 21 February 2012 7:02

What if a girl sits on a hamster?

Bree193 1

Friday 23 March 2012 23:59

I laughed so hard

ambercountrygal 0

Tuesday 8 May 2012 18:40

Learnt??? You mean learned

Valentine_Beauty 5

Saturday 22 September 2012 3:39

Learnt is American English while learned is British english.. it's not wrong what he wrote...

friscosoonerkid 3

Thursday 1 November 2012 23:53

Ouch to both of you.

genevievegirl 5

Sunday 11 August 2013 1:39

YDI for trying to kill a hamster.

DustyDawg 2

Wednesday 11 September 2013 20:18

O.o ...

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

agreeclassic 48 355

vote type 1 4 562

Today, I woke up in an amazing mood and practically jumped out of bed, only to fall flat on my face. In my half-asleep daze I'd forgotten that I'm missing a leg. FML

agreeclassic 3 345

vote type 1 327

Today, I taught a high school class on public speaking. When I explained how important it was for a presentation to be polished and professional, one kid asked, "Is it professional for your skirt to be tucked into your underwear? I didn't know they made My Little Pony panties for adults." FML

agreeclassic 5 301

vote type 1 2 212

Today, after the fourth time telling my roommate I'm highly allergic to her scented products, I came back to find all 6 of our wall outlets using Glade plug-ins. They were set to high. FML

agreeclassic 26 103

vote type 1 2 217

Today, my boyfriend's mother introduced me as his "friend". We've been together for 10 years. FML

agreeclassic 31 780

vote type 1 3 286

Today, I brought a cupcake to school for my friend's birthday. After taking one bite, she exclaimed that it was the worst thing she had ever tasted and that we should sue the store that I bought it from. I baked it myself. FML

agreeclassic 28 555

vote type 1 5 438

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Poor little guy

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