Health Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second...

Anonymous - 20/09/2011 23:54 - United States

Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML

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Deez Nuts

ALittleLighter - 14/09/2021 05:00

Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML

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Anonymous - 21/02/2011 03:28 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML

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Unusual diagnosis method

Anonymous - 08/08/2022 16:00

Today, after my brother punched me in the balls a few weeks ago, and while I was clutching myself in pain I actually felt a hard lump on the right testicle, I got the results: it’s cancer but survivable if they remove the testicle. I had to thank my brother for saving me by punching me in the balls. FML

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Leashaness - 15/09/2012 11:07 - United States

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

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Lara - 08/01/2016 11:28 - Germany - Bremen

Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML

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BadKneeBackAndSinuses - 23/09/2018 15:30

Today, I found out I have to have an operation. This will be the third in 3 years, all for completely unrelated reasons. I'm only 26 and apparently my body is already falling apart at the seams. FML

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Thanks for the miracle

howinthenameofholyfuck?! - 16/07/2020 17:01

Today, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, enduring months of tortuous chemo, having painful radiation treatments and having had my tubes tied, I realized I’ve become the butt of an incredibly cruel cosmic joke. I got pregnant from the one-night stand I had to celebrate beating cancer. FML

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Anonymous - 10/08/2016 14:10 - Serbia - Pancevo

Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML

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Wrong place, wrong time

Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

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Anonymous - 11/08/2018 01:30

Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML

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IntoTheClouds 42

Wednesday 21 September 2011 5:38

Sorry to hear about your cancer, OP. Best wishes.

josebeto1 6

Wednesday 21 September 2011 5:38

****** up bro, hope you don't lose it

Raheemdplayer 7

Wednesday 21 September 2011 22:22

This might sound stupid but if you haven't got kids and you want them, maybe you should freeze your sperm whilst you still can. Sorry about that mate :(

landsharkman 3

Wednesday 21 September 2011 23:48

Dude get a squeaker to replace one of them and jingle bell in the other

bswole 1

Thursday 22 September 2011 0:04

Sorry to hear that OP. If you have it removed start taking steroids after to keep your testosterone levels up.

chicfuzzball 0

Thursday 22 September 2011 0:30

I still have my testicles but having an extra rib is kinda good I can take a hit during MMA without much passion

Stylin_Since_97 10

Thursday 22 September 2011 1:01

Cancer surviver right here bro, I can relate:) ten years, and screw that doctor. He's three quarters from being jumped in a dark ally

brokenhelix 4

Thursday 22 September 2011 2:05

Sorry to hear about your cancer. You should get prosthetic testicles made the same way the Chinese relaxing balls are made. Then your balls will vibrate and play a lovely tune every time they move around.