Work Today, I arrived twenty minutes early for my opening shift at...

4themoneh - 05/04/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, I arrived twenty minutes early for my opening shift at work, so I decided to turn on the radio and wait in my nice warm car. I woke up two hours later with twelve missed calls from my boss and a dead car battery. FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

Anonymous - 22/06/2019 20:04

Today, after being a few minutes late to work a few times this week, I left the house super early this morning. When I got to work, security hadn’t unlocked the doors yet, so I waited in my car, where I ended up falling asleep and sleeping through most of my entire morning shift. FML

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idiot - 09/07/2012 21:26 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML

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Coach - 30/10/2009 13:19 - United States

Today, I was woken up from a phone call from my boss. He asked if I had been asleep. I told him I wasn't, that I was in my car on the way to work. Then my alarm went off. FML

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piece of crap car - 04/01/2017 06:27 - United States - Portland

Today, I was supposed to start my first day of work at my dream job. However, my car had other plans and refused to start. When I called my boss to tell him I was going to be late, he told me not to come in at all and fired me on the spot. FML

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bob - 22/10/2011 04:55 - Canada

Today, I got into a pretty heated argument with my boss. On my way out the door I told him he would be lucky if I came back to work. Unfortunately, I left the interior light on in my truck and it drained the battery. I had to go back in and ask for a jump. FML

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probablyfired - 25/07/2019 02:01

Today, I was running late for work. I was trying to find my car keys, then realized I'd left them in my boyfriend's car. My phone charger was locked in my car, and my phone was dead. I couldn’t get hold of my boss and explain what had happened. I’m fired, aren’t I? FML

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So you had a bad day…

That guy - 15/10/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up early for work and spent 30 minutes frantically looking for my keys. I had to take a 30-minute Uber ride to work, then drove an hour in the company truck, only to be stood up. FML

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Use the military clock!

Jeremy - 17/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I set my alarm to wake up early for work. It turns out I set it for PM instead of AM. I woke up to my boss calling me, asking if I was still alive. FML

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On time

Anonymous - 28/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Oakland

Today, I finally got up early enough to get to work on time. I arrived 15 minutes early only to realize that I'd left my work laptop at home. Ended up being 30 minutes late. FML

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Shitty Boss Shitty Job - 15/06/2013 05:41 - United States - Davenport

Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML

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zelinaaa 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 12:06

Oops:( YDi tho...

A7X_LoVeee 10

Tuesday 5 April 2011 17:43

Yeah, because bosses randomly think, "Huh, so and so isn't in yet, I'll go check the parking lot!" ......

blackl3ath3r 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 3:26

been there, done that minus the dead battery

Ololo_fml 16

Wednesday 6 April 2011 15:18

YDI for being sleepy

dragonmaster88 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 17:48

dumbass

theonlysweetpea 10

Wednesday 6 April 2011 20:37

Why didn't you just go inside?! YDI!

1234567789 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 0:54

dam

dont_b_that_guy 5

Thursday 7 April 2011 7:22

that sux

erickb52 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 23:47

You smoked weed, didn't you?

PlasmaVirus 4

Thursday 16 June 2011 19:40

She just wanted to mellow out for a while, maaaaan.

tbj42409 0

Friday 8 April 2011 19:28

my fiance does this every week. except he does this after work waiting for his car to warm up at 7:00 am

LaneyKenzie 3

Wednesday 8 August 2012 6:54

My question is.... It is summer how is it not warm already?

crizzashizza 4

Thursday 6 September 2012 4:59

bahaha...awesome

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML

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Today, I woke up on the couch in front of the television covered with a blanket. Last night, I'd come home pissed from the pub, fired up porn, got my pants off and settled down for a wank. However, this morning the telly was off, my trousers were on, and I don't remember a blanket. I live with my mom. FML

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Today, I asked out a guy after having feelings for him for more than a year now. He told me, “Ugh, if only I could take your personality and put it on a different face and body.” When I asked him, “Why, is just my personality not enough?” He responded, “You can’t really have sex with a personality.” FML

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Today, while making love to my wife, I let slip her sister's name. I don't think it would calm her down much if I told the truth: I was actually thinking of an ex girlfriend who shares the same name. FML

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Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends and family said they were busy so I figured I was getting a surprise party. Nope. They all were actually busy. I spent my birthday alone. FML

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Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML

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