Spooky season soccerbuddyz - - United States Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. Now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML 60 919 3 806
Today, after 5 years of being off and on, my boyfriend and I had pinky-swore that we would never break up again, but after a year of this he confessed that he'd had a fling the last time we broke up, and she'd got pregnant with twins. After therapy and marriage we are now trying to have a baby but his ding-a-ling can't get it up because of baby mama drama. FML 152 666
Today, I am smarter, cooler, better and more mature than everyone else by a huge margin. Anyone who refuses to accept this objective fact is a moron. FML 66 896
Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that I deserved to be punished. He didn’t fine me, instead he sent me to the naughty step for five minutes. FML 720 186
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML 36 181 2 772
Today, it's my birthday, I once again had to remind my best friend of this fact, like I have every year for the past 20 years. FML 1 279 363
Today, I spilled water on the front of my pants right before a meeting so I tried drying them with the hand dryer in the bathroom. A coworker walked in just as I was awkwardly squatting in front of the machine. FML 353 146
total prank
tht's creepy as hell . D: