Intimacy Outdoorsy

Outdoorsy

Anonymous - 22/03/2012 03:21 - United States - London

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cockblocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

32 853

7 251

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Camping out

Baggabbles123 - 08/06/2009 23:24 - Canada

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent, causing the girl to scream and run away. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

77 435

9 348

Lucky escape

Anonymous - 27/11/2025 12:00

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and another couple. We saw a black bear. I shrieked and peed, while the other guy stepped forward and yelled, "Get outta here!" To my surprise, it ran away. My girlfriend is so ashamed of me that she's refusing to share a tent. I'm sleeping in my truck bed. FML

229

457

Close call

Anonymous - 09/11/2023 06:00 - Canada

Today, I went on a relaxing nature hike to de-stress. I got lost for hours, encountered a bear, and had to play dead, only for the bear to steal my sandwich then sit there for hours before finally leaving. FML

577

181

Bear with me

bear food - 08/01/2014 04:37 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

52 758

5 551

Anonymous - 05/11/2010 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

31 695

5 357

What happens in the woods stays in the woods

sulfuric_acid - 10/08/2021 06:01 - Canada

Today, on Facebook, I noticed my friend had posted a picture entitled, "Does a bear shit in the woods?" Curious, I checked it out and discovered that while on our hunting trip, my friends took a picture of me, pants around my ankles, leaned up against a tree taking a dump. FML

1 239

212

Noname - 14/03/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

146 945

11 793

poisonivyretard - 04/06/2013 17:15 - United States - Narragansett

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

35 563

52 019

Out in the wild

Welpthatwasfast - 10/06/2016 07:57

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML

15 488

2 181

Anonymous - 04/04/2015 12:53 - United States

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

31 612

4 257

beccaishereyay 11

Thursday 22 March 2012 8:46

Doesn't matter, had sex

mama2b3 20

Thursday 22 March 2012 8:49

Pussy. A real man woulda asked the bear to join, then made it his bitch!

icey0796 6

Thursday 22 March 2012 13:52

Bears. Beets. Battle-Star Galactica.

RedCamaro10 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 14:43

Bear says: "Hey! You can't do that in my yard!"

nathantcash 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 15:09

I've had sex while camping before. It was ******* In Tents!

redcan3 5

Thursday 22 March 2012 15:38

This is fake. Bears don't roar.

james3458 3

Thursday 22 March 2012 15:45

so I was with my girlfriend in the woods and I was going to totally bone her but then a bear showed up and she said there was noooo way...

FalconCrunch 4

Thursday 22 March 2012 16:06

Only in Kentucky.

bikerchick1990 4

Thursday 22 March 2012 16:10

Dang! My bf, brother and my brothers friends are going to Colorado this weekend does that mean no sex with my bf out in the woods?

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 22 March 2012 18:38

Did the bear have binoculars and a van with a "free candy" sign painted on it?

klovemachine 24

Thursday 22 March 2012 18:48

Doesn't matter had sex;)

jackeechan 10

Thursday 22 March 2012 20:51

That disturbs me

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my parents informed me that my dad is leaving my mom and moving to Florida from New York tomorrow. I just spent $300 on a new crossbow for his birthday, which is tomorrow, in hopes that he would spend more time with me. FML

3 250

227

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt. It says "I'm single." FML

34 636

2 870

Today, I told a cashier at a store, “You have such kind eyes.” She smiled, then pointed to the bagging station and said, “Those are my husband’s eyes, he’s right there.” I spent the next minute bagging my groceries in dead silence. FML

296

234

Today, after 9 years of loveless marriage, my wife confided in me that she was always an introvert and depressed person, but pretended to be outgoing and fun loving with me up until our marriage, so she could marry me just to lift herself up from low class to high class society. FML

1 346

134

Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML

36 604

2 285

Today, at work, whilst on hold to an important client, I said to my co-workers "F*cking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite". I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML

7 607

41 013