No fun allowed

By Match my freak - 01/01/2026 20:00

Today, I showed my boyfriend all my kinky sex toys, hoping he'd be excited. He was actually freaked out and said that I have "way too many." Sorry I'm not a boring Christian prude who's afraid of her own pussy, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 44

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By maybe if i was paid like them i would - 14/08/2015 22:42 - United States - Houston

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 460

You deserved it 2 622

Freaky

By Anonymous - 27/08/2010 09:15 - United States

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex yet, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite." Now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 976

You deserved it 5 025

Kinky

By Anonymous - 25/04/2023 15:00

Today, I found one of those realistic, expensive sex dolls in my boyfriend's cupboard. I asked why on earth he had that and apparently it’s for all those filthy, violent sexual things he likes to do, but knows most women would never even agree to try. Um, WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 297

You deserved it 558

Sharing is caring

By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 218

You deserved it 592

Frustration level: 2000

By Anonymous - 12/08/2020 05:01

Today, I have an incredibly high sex drive. My boyfriend doesn't. He made me throw away my, rarely used, sex toys because he's jealous of them. I wouldn't need them if we had sex more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 139

You deserved it 383

By Jess49 - 03/12/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 459

You deserved it 4 859

Don't give up

By Frustrated - 24/08/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my wife complained that our sex life is too boring and vanilla. I have spent the last two years suggesting ideas to keep it interesting: S&M, swinging, roleplay, cosplay, public play, new toys, you name it. All I ever hear is, "Eww you pervert, that is disgusting and sick, how dare you even mention that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 113

By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 08:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 667

You deserved it 3 853

Subjective

By whyyyyy - 17/05/2020 23:00

Today, after months of dating, I finally saw my boyfriend naked. Turns out he has a micropenis. I assured him that I like him for who he was and that we could explore other things. He said no, because oral and sex toys are "immoral." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 822

You deserved it 490

What is he hiding?

By Wtf - 04/10/2025 20:00

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he had any secret sexual fantasies and promised that I wouldn't judge him, hoping to scratch my kinky itch. He looked at me wide-eyed, yelled, "IT'S A TRAP!!" and literally sprinted out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 196

ImGladImNotU 16

Friday 2 January 2026 8:32

Bye boy. You need that support in the years after marriage

Comments

ImGladImNotU 16

Friday 2 January 2026 8:32

Bye boy. You need that support in the years after marriage

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The Top

Today, I noticed that when I sweat I smell like bacon. I'm a vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 127

You deserved it 11 526

Today, I saw my boyfriend for the last time for two years. When we got back from dinner, we sat in his truck for a little while to talk. A few minutes later, my mom comes flying out of my house screaming, "Satan is here, and he is tempting you!" That is the last memory he will have of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 526

You deserved it 5 038

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend gave me a squeaky dog toy because "I don't know why, but it made me think of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 018

You deserved it 421

Today, I heard what sounded like water against my window, and I couldn't believe it was raining in Southern California at this time of the year. I then turned to the window to see a hobo peeing on my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 423

You deserved it 2 652

Today, I was trying to relieve a dog that looked like it was choking because it was tied to a pole while its owner was in a restaurant. The owner called a security guard because she was convinced I was trying to steal her dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 184

You deserved it 4 706

Today, I took my girlfriend to a Bo Bice concert for her birthday. She loves him so I bought us second row seats. After we got there we ran into some friends of hers sitting way back in the lawn section, and of course she wanted to sit with them. I paid $300 to sit on the grass and watch Bo Bice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 550

You deserved it 4 897

Same thing different taste

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