My two ex By Kylie Renee - 10/11/2019 14:45 Today, my ex-girlfriend started dating my ex-boyfriend, while me and him were dating.... FML agreeclassic 16 vote type 1 8 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was woken up by the police pounding on my door, saying I was under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs, then plant them on my front lawn. FML agreeclassic 43 370 vote type 1 4 893
Today, it's the second day of being in Estonia with my boyfriend and his mom, visiting their family. I don't know much Estonian, but I can say short words and phrases. My boyfriend later informed me I've been mispronouncing "Thank you," and actually saying "Help me." I was wondering why people have been laughing. FML agreeclassic 12 148 vote type 1 1 026
Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML agreeclassic 35 771 vote type 1 7 390
Today, it's been two weeks since my wife started her new job. She got overwhelmed and fell off the wagon on Monday. Instead of going to work, she spent the last week passed out drunk, and she'll probably get fired. We really needed that 100k a year she was going to make. FML agreeclassic 1 124 vote type 1 152
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML agreeclassic 51 745 vote type 1 8 330
Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML agreeclassic 12 598 vote type 1 62 842