Me at lunchtime By Lewis - 12/12/2018 00:30 Why have I to be polite? I agree, your life sucks 265 You deserved it 64 Share Tweet Share
Today, just like the past 10 days, I have COVID. Today was also the day my body decided to betray me. I threw up and simultaneously shit myself for the first time since I was in diapers. FML I agree, your life sucks 995 You deserved it 122
Today, I managed to set off the smoke detectors while cooking burgers. The cops and fire department showed up. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 153 You deserved it 371
Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 574 You deserved it 2 455
Today, my girlfriend dumped me when I told her I once got out of jury duty. It was a legitimate reason with evidence from my neurosurgeon, but she thinks I should have done my civic duty, while enduring the pain of screws holding my skull together. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 135 You deserved it 92
Today, I had a bacterial infection in my intestines. Doctors suggested I wash my intestines, but apparently forgot to tell me I couldn't eat before the procedure. I don't know what's worse, the fact that the whole room right now smells like rancid fried chicken, or the fact that the doctors were just talking about going to Popeyes. FML I agree, your life sucks 942 You deserved it 256
Today, I took a test as part of a job requirement. I took a sip from a bottle of juice, and the lady leading the test gave me a warning. I tried to explain that if I didn't, I would faint. She took the bottle and hid it. 15 minutes later I collapsed. She thought I was faking. I'm hypoglycemic. FML I agree, your life sucks 88 280 You deserved it 4 217