Joe Bidet By userrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 453 You deserved it 3 839 Share Tweet Share
Today, I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor went through the normal questions, then paused for a moment and jotted something down. Later when I got back my report from the checkup, I noticed that the doctor had checked the "no" box by "sexually active." She didn't even ask me that. FML I agree, your life sucks 84 487 You deserved it 6 484
Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 19 997 You deserved it 4 559
Today, while working as a masseur, a man requested a foot massage. This wouldn't have been an issue, had he not had at least 20 warts on his feet. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 955 You deserved it 151
Today, I am finally dating the girl I have liked on and off for the past year. In the school play. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 433 You deserved it 5 278
Today, I have blue lips because of a guy whose face I don't even remember didn't know the difference between kissing and sucking. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 262 You deserved it 26 189
Today, I spoke to my dad for the first time in over a year. I've been volunteering in Mongolia, I have no running water, freeze my ass off everyday and communication with anyone who speaks English is scarce. One of the first things my father said to me was, "out of sight, out of mind." FML I agree, your life sucks 36 553 You deserved it 3 717
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?