It wasn't me By Anonymous - 04/05/2018 00:36 Today, after 6 years and 2 kids together my husband still thinks I'll cheat on him because his mom cheated on his dad. FML agreeclassic 100 vote type 1 4 Share Tweet Share
Today, I went to a Christmas party to visit family. Dinner time came around and I sat down at the table to eat. All of the food either had nuts or meat. I am allergic to nuts and I've been a vegetarian for three years. FML agreeclassic 7 403 vote type 1 2 343
Today, I was singing my heart out in the shower, convinced I was alone. Turns out my roommate had friends over, and they could hear everything through the bathroom vent. Now, they keep requesting encore performances of my renditions of songs by The Smiths. FML agreeclassic 374 vote type 1 176
Today, while in the hospital recovering from surgery, I got into a fight with my wife. Apparently, she feels that I shouldn’t have gone to the hospital because “Funerals cost less than surgery.” She brought an extremely detailed spreadsheet to prove it. FML agreeclassic 5 950 vote type 1 434
Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML agreeclassic 43 800 vote type 1 5 255
Today, I confronted my mom about her drinking problems. After I blurted everything out, she completely denied it. She did this as she was drinking a huge cup full of vodka. FML agreeclassic 30 130 vote type 1 2 384
Today, I found out that my "mosquito bite" was in fact a jellyfish sting I got in Mexico, which has caused me to break out into horrendous hives in the airport waiting for the flight home. It's okay though, the plane is only delayed for 7 hours. FML agreeclassic 25 633 vote type 1 1 855