Miscellaneous It wasn't me

It wasn't me

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

anonymous - 20/08/2009 06:22 - United States

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

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fencernick - 22/04/2009 10:40 - United States

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

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NightHawk4926 - 09/09/2015 22:15 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML

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Evil_Angel_90 - 10/09/2013 11:36 - Australia

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

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bouda - 15/05/2011 18:19 - France

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

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Tippi Hedren strikes back

B_and_W - 21/11/2013 11:35 - France

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

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Tasty

Anonymous - 09/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML

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Britain's got talons

Anonymous - 15/01/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking down the street when a pigeon flew into my head and got caught in my hair. To make matters worse, a group of kids thought it was hilarious and started filming me with their phones while I screamed in terror. FML

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Alexa, play "I Ran" by A Flock of Seagulls

John - 10/07/2013 02:48 - United States

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

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YOURMOM - 31/12/2011 07:24 - United States

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

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potentpotable 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 20:12

"Today, I was at the park feeding pigeons like a normal homeless person. A young man walked by and threw some fries on the ground. I dashed for the fries, but then the birds fought with me for them. FML."

vvtumblesbee 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 20:01

that's happened to me at the beach, but they were seagulls... and they attacked me x_x

Endymion_fml 0

Wednesday 15 April 2009 11:51

"Just as planned."

VooDooXII 0

Wednesday 15 April 2009 14:43

Psh no worries...not your fault, hahaha.

Flargon 0

Wednesday 15 April 2009 15:47

Haha just like Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds"

Majora_fml 0

Wednesday 15 April 2009 16:55

Duuuude, you fail.

NoKo_fml 0

Wednesday 15 April 2009 17:08

holy! the lack of logic on this site bothers me. the birds weren't actually attacking the woman..the reason she was screaming is because she was freaked out due to the whole population of birds flying into one area which happened to be where the woman was..anyone would be scared and like i mentioned in #3 she was probably getting covered in shit.