Kids Intimacy Hygiene police

Hygiene police

Anonymous - 07/12/2010 02:58 - United States

Today, my daughter and husband surprised me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumped back from the hug and said, "Ewwww, smells like fish." FML

44 881

17 025

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

me - 23/10/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

35 656

7 534

noname - 03/01/2009 03:26 - France

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

32 577

2 603

Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

36 895

5 250

girlmeetsworld - 18/02/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

53 151

13 666

shh - 09/10/2015 07:06 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML

25 586

2 788

docwinters - 27/05/2013 12:39 - Australia - Bathurst

Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML

44 188

5 008

It's not what you think

shway - - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

51 991

7 453

Prankster

longlostkid556 - - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

56 730

5 893

Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

37 186

3 838

kittykat033 - 08/03/2014 17:19 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I started at my new job. My manager, upon meeting me, hugged me and sniffed my neck, then commented that I smelled "natural" and told me how much he loves that. I have to work with this creep until god knows when. FML

41 905

3 912

petite_amber150 0

Tuesday 7 December 2010 9:03

gross. wash much?

batman8 0

Tuesday 7 December 2010 9:09

price check on vagiclean, I repeat, price check on vagiclean

rique_fml 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 2:46

Ummm that's not cute.

rique_fml 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 2:46

Ummm that's not cute.

storylogan 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 3:38

maybe you should wash a little!

mickstisy 3

Wednesday 8 December 2010 4:28

fake !

modifiedchick 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 4:43

Reason #526489165496 not to have kids: they embarrass the living shit out of you in public. **** that shit!

Rbuckyfuller 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 4:48

This is fake, they had the same FML last year at some point, I'm sure if someone knows how to search he/she could find it.

renner12 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 5:34

Uhh. That's why you wear a pad or tampon and change it when it's that time if the month, Nasty ass heffer! clean ur cootchie.

kawaiiairi 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 13:29

I don't think girls smell like fish down there when they have that time of the month. Have you even had yours?

lifeisjustlife 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 7:13

douching and/or washing vaginas only eliminates the natural coating that keeps them free of bacteria. stop misguiding people with bogus advice, and learn your female anatomy, like real men.

5t3ff1k4h 44

Wednesday 8 December 2010 16:35

...free of the NORMAL and NECESSARY bacteria... If the bacteria overgrows, the woman will get a yeast infection. Since you're removing so much of the necessary bacteria by using a douche, they will start to overgrow to overcompensate, therefore leaving you with a nice, pretty yeast infection. Do you want this? No? Then don't douche.